Teddy Bear, Mother’s Helper

Everyone needs a teddy bear, even big capable guys! People especially need a teddy bear when far from home. I have a bear the size of my thumb. It was perfect when I used to travel—I traveled light, and it took up no room in a suitcase.

I just made a wee teddy for a friend. I’m excited about making a one-of-a-kind critter, my design, hand-painted. So I thought I’d share pics. I also thought you might enjoy making one too, so there are instructions below.

 The one I made is under 5”—bigger than my ol’ traveling companion, but still easily tucked into the corner of a backpack.

1) Using Jacquard’s Auto Fade Pen, I made a rough bear sketch on a gorgeous scrap of probably vintage cloth. Yay, I got to upcycle!

2) Next I painted my new wee friend, using Jacquard’s TeeJuice Pens. For some of that, I squeezed TeeJuice out of a pen so I could dip a brush into the paint.

The spiral on its tiny belly is because it is a cosmic bear. 🙂 A traveling teddy bear is God’s little helper, adding a bit more security wherever you go. Heck, toss it in your purse to go with you to work and the rest of your day!

The first known image of Madonna and child—Goddess and son—was a bear with cub. For me, teddy bears represent that huge all-encompassing maternal love, and are mother’s helpers, assistant to both human moms and to the Great Mom Goddess. Divinity is always with us, sometimes via the comfort of a stuffed animal.

3) Next came cutting. I pinned the bear to another piece of cloth, so I could cut front and back at the same time. When I cut out the bear, I left a seam allowance all around the painted area.

4) Then I stuffed and stitched! If it’s hard to get a lot of stuffing into a tiny bear, just keep at it. It helped me to only stitch as much as needed before starting to stuff.  

Doesn’t he look proud to be helping? Doesn’t She look proud of him? “Never doubt the power of one wee creature,” says Outlaw Bunny.

5) Finally, I wrote a message to my friend, which I put in tiny print on a little scroll that I attached to one of the bear’s arms.

Note: I integrate art with the rest of my life—eg, use crafts as meditation, use my art to illustrate blogs. I’m so happy there are folks living an integrated life I can share with. I’m not alone, whew! That’s why I made a blog category called “The Whole Thing.” Often, there is such a weave that category was needed. In this vein, all my classes are about integrated being, even if that is not in the description for a given class. To be kept abreast of classes, click here.

Oh, I don’t have many out ‘n’ out gallery posts. To see my visual art, browse my blog.

Jacquard supplies for this project are found at www.jacquardproducts.com or 800-442-0455.

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Story about a Direct Spiritual Transmission

Francesca De Grandis, Oct 2011

Noelle permitted me to share her story about a spiritual transmission I gave her. A few details for context: The transmission she received was in part about childlike wonder, and was given for a month, without any meetings, even by phone. I suggested everyone receiving the transmission remind themselves once a day that I was doing this work for them. I also gave them an optional prayer to say.

“2011 was a year of crushing betrayal, loss and grief for me. I was homeless for a while. I had to put my four dogs to sleep because I had nowhere to keep them. The people I thought would always have my back instead stabbed me in it. I stumbled through my days (at least I didn’t lose my job) trying to hold it together and wondering sometimes why I bothered. Something about your Childlike Wonder announcement kept talking to me. Something wouldn’t quite let me delete it. So on a leap of faith that I wasn’t even sure I had any more, [I signed up for the transmission]. I still wasn’t sure what I hoped to get.
 
“On the first day, when I woke up, I thought “Francesca is starting the practice for me today.” I instantly felt peace, for the first time in months. I said the prayer and was able to appreciate the sunrise as I drove in to work. I kept saying it. Every day I started with the thought that you were doing the practice for me, and every day, sometimes several times a day, I said the prayer. Especially in the late hours when guilt and grief nailed my soul to the wall–I would see the faces of my dogs lifted trustingly to me, happy to see me, while I’m taking them to their deaths. I’m still saying it, even though the month is done. Because it helps, because it shines a flashlight in the darkness.

a sigil I developed for my own personal use

“I can see beauty around me again and feel gratitude. I can think of my dogs without absolute despair. I still grieve them, but I am starting to forgive myself and I think they have forgiven me. I am working to rebuild trust with one who betrayed me. It may not work out but I know that I can go on if it doesn’t. The worst thing of all was to be out of communion with my beloved Quan Yin. I used to meet Her in meditation and would often simply sit at Her feet with my head against Her knees and feel complete happiness. That had left with only a numbing hole in its place. I know that She did not leave me, I left Her. I was wrapped in fog and I was paralyzed.  The fog is lifting. I feel like the shell around my heart has cracked. I’m not totally back yet, but at least I am able to see the path back and start walking it.

“I know that this work came at some cost to you and I wanted you to know that it gave me my life back.
 
“Blessings, Noelle”

To receive notice of upcoming spiritual transmissions and my other work, click here.

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Domestic Warrior

Between being a poet and feeling the world needs lots of changing, I’m compelled to make up terms, LOL. I’m not saying what’s right for others, but I personally need a term other than housewife. Domestic warrior works beautifully. 

Right before I posted my painting with its little self-help suggestion, I thought I’d better Google domestic warrior first, just in case there would be a problem. I did not see one. But I did feel encouraged to see that various folks have used the term before I ever thought of it. Yay and yaya—it is not just me who feels it has value! They may not use domestic warrior to mean the exact thing I do, but it is still encouraging.

I used a pic of Jenn—the Leftover Queen—as the model for my Viking painting. No one better than Jenn as a domestic warrior.

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Calligraphy can be so useful!

 

 Calligraphy can be so useful! I made this just for me, but then thought someone else might get something from it, LOL.

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If you enjoyed my absurd …um, I guess it qualifies as a picture poem (it was a bizarre kind of meditation, ornamentation and all), check out Share My Insanity: It Improves Everything. Readers are kindly saying it is unusual among self-help books, and that they like that! Its self-help humor and creative madness offer methods that support the whole you, so it has too many topics to list here, but its topics relevant to this blog are: self-expression, creativity, art, and rants. 🙂 Oh, for clarity’s sake, it does not have my calligraphy. But it does support your creative and other goals. Available on Amazon.

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Walking Between the Stars: A Weekend Spiritual Retreat, Pagan Style

Walking Between the Stars: A Weekend Spiritual Retreat, Pagan Style

Imagine a weekend where you are cared for spiritually, in ceremonies led by a shaman elder.

Envision a pagan retreat! 

Ritual will range from peaceful to ecstatic to transformative to very ol’ fashioned witchy to solemn to funny.

Escape the grind and take care of you.  A two day ceremony to:
* Spiritually refuel and rejuvenate.
* Center into authentic self.
* Be immersed in Divine love.
* Receive insight about your goals, challenges, and your life in general.
* Get covered in stardust!

Suitable to all levels, no experience needed. E.g., the above centering into self is suitable whether you’ve never felt the real you, want to deepen your sense of self more than ever, are a bit un-centered because of a crazy schedule, or …

Guardian Ancestor, silk painting, Francesca De Grandis

Guardian Ancestor, silk painting, Francesca De Grandis

Drawing on 25 years experience as a spiritual healer and ritualist, I’ll use time-honored shamanic modalities. A lot of the weekend ritual will be channeled to meet the needs of attendees. Each person also receives personal guidance and direct spiritual transmissions.

We who are Fey-touched often find self, Divinity, and power when playing in other realms. During our weekend together, we’ll be walking between the stars.

This relaxing exhilaration will occur just outside Meadville, Pennsylvania, Sat & Sun, AUGUST 18 & 19. We are in ritual each day from 10 A.M. to 4 P.M. (with an hour break for lunch). The rest of the weekend we can hang out together, or wander off on our own to play or ponder or nap—it’s up to the individual. 
 
I’ve heard the following accommodations are affordable and pleasant, but I can’t make endorsements. Motel Six (814) 724-6366 / Wynken, Blynken, and Nod (B&B) (814) 337-2018 / Azalea House (B&B) (814) 337-8883 / Holiday Inn Express (814) 724-6012 / Brookdale Campgrounds (814) 789-3251

This is a lovely rural—though very conservative—area.

Having fun learning digital art the past few weeks. I made the banner for this event using an app called Procreate. The three spheres are photos of pieces I’d painted on silk. I drew the calligraphy right in the app—great app for $5! Francesca De Grandis

REGISTER for Walking Between the Stars at www.paypal.com  : log into your account, then click the Send Money tab. Use outlawbunny@outlawbunny.com as the Recipients Email. Fill in the amount of $250. PUT THE FOLLOWING IN THE NOTES SECTION: the words “Walking Between the Stars,” your name, postal address, and phone #.

Upon receipt of payment, your place is reserved; event details will be emailed to you. No refunds. If you need more info, prefer to pay by check or money order, or want to discuss scholarship or trade, call me: 814-337-2490. Don’t email; disabilities = I can’t discuss events by email. Thanks!

Blissed out weekend, blessed with renewal, sacred fellowship.

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See Beauty, Express Beauty, Adorn the Cosmos

I calligraphed today’s blog.

I wrote the above prose in 2008, and wrote it out yesterday as a meditation. An aside: I never thought I would share my calligraphy publicly. It was for myself, mostly. (And I did not think it was good enough. Now I don’t care if it is “good enough,” I just want to share this personal part of me sometimes.) I’d calligraph class handouts, but they were for the students’ use only, not to be shared further. Heh, in fact, in 1986 I calligraphed 120 pages of notes from which to teach a twelve week Third Road class, though no one has ever seen those pages except me (except for the handful that I used as handouts). I added ornamentation, Celtic knot work, the whole nine yards, just for my own viewing. But I needed the act of calligraphing my words, to ensure my mind was not entrapped and confined by academic parameters, because I was in college at the time (returned to school late in life). Luckily, I taught that class once or twice a year for a long time, so all that pen work was not consigned to a drawer, I saw it a lot. Make art for yourself!

OMG, having typed that last sentence, I realize that this aside is not an aside! It totally ties in with the blog. Yup, my subconscious once again is doing its job, contributing quite well! Embrace inner chaos!
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Speaking of embracing inner chaos, Share My Insanity has methods, musings, and madness to help you do that! Oh, wait, LOL, there are more connections happening, I love it. The book connects chaos to other themes of this blog: creativity, knowing your beauty, connectivity , and anarchy. Share My Insanity, available on Amazon.

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Share My Insanity—Reviews


Got lovely new review for Share My Insanity: It Improves Everything. The visionary artist 
Paul B. Rucker wrote: “When Francesca says she will personalize your copy, she isn’t kidding! I had a beautiful and intricate drawing/benediction added to my frontispiece by her — light years past a typical author signature. This book is intensely personal, so much so that any given reader will be drawn to special sections in particular… I myself am fondest of the moments that draw a mood-of-place that lets me picture myself there… such as a description of eating outside in a fairy garden that happens to be her own backyard. Francesca declares, “I live in myth” and jewel-like images such as this convey that to me. Consider this book in some ways like an introduction to Francesca the person, who may have something magical to give you, too….”

Grassroots support is what this book needs, and Mari Powers kindly wrote “Share My Insanity; It Improves Everything is one of the very few “self-help” books I have ever liked. Mimosa carries this little known title, and instead of just liking it, I positively enjoyed reading it. In fact I have read several parts more than once. Francesca de Grandis has written several other books that sold very well and were quite orderly, yet in this one, she gives explicit permission to read it out of sequence! Not only that, the print is actually readable without bi-focal glasses. 

“The advice in the book is cloaked in storytelling, rare glimpses into her personal life, non-linear in format, and has the best “section” headings in the table of contents I think I have ever read. She affirms our own wacky wonderful spiritual and healthful practices, and is compassionate in understanding our own all too human frailties. What is even better, she acknowledges her own frailties, and with humor. Negative emotions and the like are not to be judged, simply to be experienced, without wallowing in them.

“This is a book of kitchen witchery and revelations, a comparison of city and country living, a guide for other shamans and healers, and a positive affirmation that in an insane world, our own insanity may just be a survival mechanism; one we can turn into our own chaotic, fun and healthy living system.”

Sooooo happy! Midwest Book Review gave Share My Insanity a big thumbs up:

“It’s not a bad idea to be a little crazy. Share My Insanity: It Improves Everything is an inspirational book from Francesca De Grandis as she advises readers to bring in their own chaos to life and fully embrace it. Advising readers of any spiritual walk in life to break through and find their own endeavor, Share My Insanity is an inclusive call to improve one’s own life with its unique brand of humor, very much recommended.”

Please share the link to this post: I’m getting word out almost entirely word of mouth. Whew, that is taking a long time! I constantly encourage myself to keep going, because I believe in Share My Insanity, but sales don’t usually happen fast with grassroots promotion. Bless Midwest Book Review for reviewing a trickster mystic  (I call the book self-help  humor); their Small Press Bookwatch supports books from small publishers. This review is a real coupe for a grassroots project. Thank you, Gods!

Just got a painting app, I made this photo of me pretty. LOL. Oops, I should not have said that! I should have labeled this, “Self-portrait, Francesca De Grandis” to be a properly pompous literary figure.

I haven’t posted the book’s other reviews yet. Bad bunny! I hope to post ‘em soon.

If you want to interview me about Share My Insanity, shoot me an email, or post below. Thanks for stopping by!!!

Share My Insanity, available on Amazon.

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A Rant about Whether Humanity Has Evolved At All

I’d like to think the human species has evolved. Then I remember the Jerry Springer show. On the other hand, ancient Romans’ idea of entertainment was to throw people to lions. So maybe we’ve improved a little. (I wonder if the crowds watching this spectator sport scarfed down an ancient equivalent of hot buttered popcorn.)

Surely, technology’s giving independent thinkers an easy platform online made me hopeful. Then I realized that people in power no longer have to assassinate the likes of Gandhi or MLK Jr. Digital noise drowns their messages! If anyone thinks me insensitive, I’m pointing out something horrific society is insensitive to: Powers-that-be no longer have to bother to murder someone whose life-changing ideas threaten dominant structures! Silencing and censorship by sheer din is an old trick we have not grown past. I suspect digital noise was nurtured to smother any truths spoken.

OK, my cat is too cute for words!

OK, my cat is too cute for words!

But maybe that was not needed, maybe instead of evolving, we’ve devolved. Look at the online attention given to tripe. Try an experiment: Post the most syrupy cliché you can create. For example, a pic of a kitten with these words under it: “I may be small, but you gotta love me.” (I’m embarrassed to have made that up.) I’ll bet it gets 1000s times more likes and re-tweets than a Nobel Prize winner’s site.

Wait, the ease with which anyone can have a website is good sign. I get to have a voice! On the other hand, I might be presumptuous to assume I add anything except more digital noise.

On the “Yes, the web shows human evolution” side of the argument: I can order Netflix movies online…Maybe that is less proof of evolution and more proof that I only care about me. Hmm.

 Ah, here’s a true goody: the internet nurtures independence for crips; despite being a shut-in, I can have a store because it is online. 

Okay, this is getting long for online reading, but there’s virtue in an occasional rant. Moving on, our overall use of social media does not bode well. We could have used it to engage in thoughtful dialog open to all. Think global town meeting. Instead, we’ve re-created—and augmented!—ol’ fashion mob mentality. Think Salem’s witchcraft trials gone viral—knee-jerk accusations ruining lives, mass hysteria driving decisions, slanderous gossip masquerading as high moral ground.

I could argue that social media’s contribution to political activism is amazing. But exceptions that prove the rule existed even in Neanderthal times. When other guys were clubbing women on the head and dragging them to caves, there probably was one fellow painting cave walls to lure a female to his abode.

Social media could be a chance to leave mind-numbing television and its corporate messages. Instead, we use social media for the same escapism and big-business ads. I do this myself, sigh, drug myself by traveling online until I’m numb and dumb.

Social media is an oxymoron, emphasis on moron. Does anyone who follows the tweets of celebrities who don’t follow back understand the “social” in “social media?” Celebrities post identical jokes and recommendations for the same pieces of jewelry. Clearly there’s a company writing their tweets. I’m not saying they’re wrong to do this. They’re busy folks. My point is, we had a choice, and these are the uses we’ve made of technological progress.

I cannot stop my rant, my inner debate. Please hang in for some last points: Democracy might be a sign of evolution. But when America’s European settlers freed themselves from England, all they did was get rid of the word “royalty.” We still have rulers, people wealthy to the point of royal insanity whose carelessness of the general populace is just as insane.

While poor and a lot of middle class cannot afford healthcare, American royalty have enough expendable income to spend thousands and thousands to go into space for a purely recreational trip. The brutal disparity between the haves and have-nots continues unchecked. And if this is our use of tech, have we changed since the caveman?

But I need hope. Maybe the only thing that matters is hope for—and belief in —humanity’s potential.

My belief in human’s ability to evolve spiritually as individuals and as a society is enormous. That is why I’ve devoted my life to being a spiritual guide for over a quarter of a century. 

I want to think we’ve improved. I want to believe that all the hard work of Buddha and Jesus and other spiritual greats, that all the dedication of scientists, that all the prayers, chants, and sacrifices of mothers, fathers, and soldiers, that all the courage of risktakers like Martin Luther King Jr, that all the visions of mystics, poets, and painters have helped the human species become better as a whole. I guess it is up to me, to be better, do better, make better choices. And up to each of us.

And finally, my inarguable proof of improvement is hot buttered popcorn. So I refuse to research whether it is a new invention or existed since Romans. Onward!
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More rants are in Share My Insanity, available on Amazon. The book challenges many hurtful ideas accepted even in the alternative community. We can evolve, but not without admitting our individual and collective faults.

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Finding Happiness during Difficult Times

I'm having a good day!

I'm having a good day!

If you read last week’s blog, you know I was depressed when I wrote it. My efforts to change how I felt worked. Next day, I woke in a great mood. A week or so later, I’m still happy. Life is good. The sunlight in my living room is gorgeous.

My uplifted feelings exist despite this week’s events: mice invaded my kitchen, yesterday I had food poisoning, which was followed by…well, you get the idea—life strikes again. And again, often.

I’m not saying I’ve been blissed out all week. I’ve had my fair share of rants and down moments. Okay, I’ve had down hours. But I’ve been happy a lot, so much that it has me thinking about ways I find happiness during challenges. Here are three of those methods. Then, maybe you’ll share your techniques below.

1) Be proactive, if at all possible. When I came down with multiple sclerosis (that’s the closest we’ve gotten to a diagnosis, and it was tentative), I tried anything I could to improve my situation. Being proactive is not always easy. For example, at first, I’d get out of bed and finally manage to stand, then immediately become so dizzy that I would fall over; I would aim for the bed, hoping I would hit it instead of the floor. Luckily I always managed to get the bed.

I don’t mention my terrible vertigo in order to sound pathetic or heroic. My point is that vertigo was one of many severe, sudden physical problems that limited me; I had little physical or emotional wherewithal to get anything done. But I was as proactive as I could manage. Do what you can—no matter how little—to change your situation.

Besides, when you’re down, it really helps if you try to get up. LOL.

Yes, your efforts might fail. But your attempts in themselves have benefits. For example, a study shows that, during a traumatizing event in their life, people who actively seek ways to overcome the situation tend to experience less psychological damage.

2) Tell yourself that unseen factors can turn your negative situation into something wonderful. Tell yourself that you’re not seeing solutions but they’ll come. Assure yourself with these ideas, even if you don’t believe them; rough times can discourage us so much that our life view becomes needlessly hopeless.

Also, trusting a solution is possible creates a solution. That’s not New Age doublespeak. Once I think a solution exists, I automatically relax. I go about my business. Next thing I know, an amazing solution enters my mind. Had constant worried thoughts (“This is hopeless, hopeless, hopeless”) filled my conscious awareness, the creative outpourings of my subconscious would never have risen to consciousness. My brain would’ve been too full of misery to have room for new ideas, and lack the peace needed for an innovative thought to gently enter. *

Besides, repeatedly giving yourself messages like “What’s the use of trying!” heaps more misery on top of whatever you’re already going through! Life is painful enough, don’t make it worse by telling yourself things you’d recognize as injurious if someone else said them to you. In other words, if a person kept at you with remarks like “There’s nothing you can do to improve your life,” you’d think they were plain old mean ! Don’t be mean to you.

3) Help someone else.* My three tips are not necessarily easy to do. And there are times when the best way to help others is to take care of yourself. But when I can give a helping hand, I forget my problems. I get a break from both them and my fear about the future; I’m more comfortable in my skin for a while.

Focusing on someone else’s needs shows me we’re all in this together. Realizing that I’m not the only one with difficulties gives me perspective, destroys my self-pity (I am prone to the “Poor me, my troubles are worse than anyone else’s” syndrome), and helps eradicate a sense of isolation that often occurs when problems overwhelm us.

Think this article cheap talk on my part? If I can find joy despite my challenges, anyone can. But instead of a litany of proofs in my pudding, I’ll give one example: Illness has made me a shut-in for ten years.

Hard Times are just that: hard. But they’re part of life. Sometimes they last years, sometimes they come and go all day. Again, do what you can, even if it is tiny, and keep on with that as often as you can—it will eventually pan out.

Don’t wait until a crisis is over to look for happiness. It is waiting for you to find it. Look, right there, do you see it?
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* For more ways to free up your subconscious’s creativity and informativeness: Share My Insanity, available on Amazon. The book also shows why being of service can heal your spirit in ways nothing else will.

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Crip-Dancing Grief, Calligraphing Grief

My Heart Hurts, FDG 2012

Cat’s in my wheelchair, I can’t lift her out. I want to be in You, surrender. Make me who can best serve Your plan. I’ve no power.

Cut my finger, sucked it, I taste like raspberries. Guess SADD has not completely messed me up yet, but I am hurting. Bit by bit, SADD has crept up on me, I did not know if I was depressed or just coming to grips with some awful things that happened, admitting such things occur in this world. Or both. I still don’t know but today I do realize SADD is here.

Better go outside into sun and invigorating cold before SADD gets any worse. Glad I’m well ‘nuf again now and that the weather is a bit better.

Being outside helps. Then I plummet. Hate everything and everybody. A friend of mine once said, “When you’re depressed, you don’t think ‘I’m depressed.’ Instead, you think, ‘The world is a terrible place.'” Yup, the world is awful, people stink.

Detail from My Heart Hurts, FDG 2012.

I am a lousy spiritual leader. God, You picked the wrong person, my spiritual state is awful, I am hating my species. Hm, is this depression talking? Of course it is! I hope it is.

I better go meditate, do the rest of my physical therapy, see if that helps. Oh, and drink St John’s wort, that obliterated my SADD one year.

I start exercise. A bit of movement makes me feel deeply sad, this is not SADD alone. I forsake the usual physical therapy, and work out by dancing grief. I’m a crip, my dance is not what some might imagine. But it moves the awful sadness about those awful things I mentioned.

The St John’s wort is steeping. I just remember, I have Motherwort glycerite I made from my garden, will take that, too.

I calligraph my grief, that helps too.

Thank you, God, it’s mostly a day off, so I have the luxury of pain, of allowing myself time to work it out and away. This sadness has been lurking, even in the air around me, a long time, maybe years, needing to come out and play. Thank You for a day in which I have enough physical strength and mental acuity for healing my spirit, instead of a day ill physical health takes all. Just between you and me, I took care of my inner landscape instead of survival chores. But until I made beauty to cure my depression, survival felt worthless, I wasn’t tending to it anyway. Onward! Time to eat a beautiful dinner.
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Art and crafts can be self-help. DIY inner-transformation! I teach classes about bringing art ‘n’ spirituality together. If you don’t receive announcements of upcoming classes, here is where to sign up. At the time of this posting, a class starts next week, so if you want to get some work done now, email me for info about that class: outlawbunny @ outlawbunny.com

If you enjoyed this blog, I share in-depth about my life as a mystic and just plain ol’ human being in Share My Insanity , available on Amazon .

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