Here’s what I wrote earlier today: Did vanity search. LOL! People repeat the same erroneous info about me and are upset I don’t say, “I’m deeper than anyone else, and I know secrets no one else knows. I can teach you to be pompous just like me.” LOL. They couldn’t spot a mystery or the Goddess if she was doing a rhumba in front of them. God, I’m laughing! Bitter people! I feel for them but can’t stop laughing. Thank God I’m such a fool, or their attacks would make me bitter, too! I’d “catch” their bitterness.
A bit later I wrote: On a sober note, I’m sad – actually sad in my heart – that some people think disdain makes them look spiritually superior and virtuous. Hate is not a virtue, and their attacks make me feel lonely. There’s so much to celebrate and laugh about in life; I wish they’d just come laugh with me! We could laugh at our faults together! I am a lonely fool, needing all the fellow fools possible!
Later still: After my laughter, I ended up feeling hurt by the same things I’d been able to rise above with laughter earlier in the evening. And I got fearful their condemnation of my writing was correct, which got me confused about how to do the final edits on the book that I need to have finished in a few days. I’m past that emotional upset and insecurity now. I hope I stay past it.
These critics measure Shamanism (mysticism, spirituality, etc.) by form, not content. They were just parroting each other, and they don’t know that 100s of readers have thanked me for helping them completely change – even save – their lives. I wish people understood that public figures are human; mean words hurt us. For one thing, for a while I was really starting to think my writing is terrible and lost confidence in the book I’ve been working on since 2003.
I thank the Divine, for helping me cleave to You and my friends, and for making me remember that the fruits of someone’s work show it’s worth. (How worthwhile can their criticisms be, if all it provides is nastiness and misinformation?) Please help me finish the last of the rewrites without those terrible, mean people’s remarks inside my head, muddying my mind and making me incapable of doing the final rewrites well. Help me do final rewrites that serve You and whoever reads the book. Thank you!
Finally, I wrote this, to expand on an earlier point: People who explore mysticism, integrative vision, shamanism, Wicca, the Faerie Faith, an ecstatic path, etc., usually seek depth. Unfortunately, (it really is sad) they sometimes wrongly think they have found the right teacher, mistaking the teacher’s anger, arrogance, or power-tripping for depth. Do not let these errant seekers make you must mistrust yourself or your choices. And I won’t let them make me doubt myself either, okay? Some of the most powerful mystics, shamans, and the likes are people whose power is so subtle, runs so deep, and is so confident that they just seem like “fluffy bunnies.” In the right circumstances, they say very impressive things. But most of the time, they don’t, because they know that it cheapens sacred experiences if you discuss them just to have something to fill the silence. And they know that to, instead, hint at wondrous secrets is just as wrong; a secret you brag about isn’t much of a secret; a mystery you brag about dissipates. And they don’t endlessly expound on the meanings of mystic images and other esoterica. Buddha would not even discuss cosmology or theory with a student; he felt that it did not leave sufficient time for actual practice of the path. Most of the time, it’s not one’s words that show one’s depth. It is one’s energy, one’s bearing, etc. I trust bunnies, I trust laughing fools. I pray to the Divine, help me love people who do really stupid hurtful things because they think such actions are spiritual. We’re all on this path together, learning, and growing. Thank you.
